传喜法师：拿什么来拯救我们的爱情？（中英双语）

男女的爱是饿鬼的爱

The love between men and women is like the love of the hungry ghosts

佛陀时代第一个女众道场名字叫就叫爱道堂，要去爱真理，要去爱智慧，要把我们的爱提升成慈悲。

During the time of the Buddha, the first place of practice for female practitioners was called the place of practice of love to love truth and to love wisdom, and to elevate love into loving-kindness and compassion. Is not this love wonderful?

我们都是爱情的结晶，无爱不生娑婆。

We are all the product of love. Without love, the Saha world would not have been brought into being.

这个话题不仅是我们在座的人、天人、修罗、畜生、旁生、饿鬼、地狱，这是轮回的核心话题。

This is a topic concerning not only us humans present here, but also celestial beings, asuras, animals, hungry ghosts, and hell-beings. It is a topic at the core of the cycle of birth and death.

为了下午要来学习，我上午就坐在那里好好地闭关修行。结果楼下有人结婚，男的说：八年前在欧洲巴黎的一次活动当中，我就看到她坐在边上特别文静，所以我就关注她了。这一关注她就邀请她，然后我们就谈恋爱了。一谈就谈了八年，今年终于结婚了。

For the purpose of our talk this afternoon, I spent the morning properly in retreat。 Incidentally, there was a couple who were getting married downstairs. The groom said, During an event in Paris eight years ago, I saw her sitting at one side and she was especially quiet. This made me notice her. As a result, I invited her out; and from then on, we started to date each other. That has since lasted for eight years and this year, we have finally gotten married.

结果长者又说话了，祝愿你们在一起过日子相亲相爱，相互理解，相互包容。意思就是不要吵架，不要冷战。

Finally, an elder spoke. He said, Hope that in the days you are together, you will be loving towards each other, be mutually understanding and forgiving. This means you should neither fight nor give each other the cold shoulder.

老人他是过来人，他知道的，爱情看上去很甜蜜，但是里面藏着很多苦果。因为爱而靠近，因为靠近而了解，因为了解而烦恼，因为烦恼而恨，爱最后就变成了恨。

The elder had seen it all himself. He knew that romance seems very sweet. Nonetheless, there is a lot of suffering hidden in it. This is because love brings people closer to each other. Due to this closeness, there is understanding. With understanding, afflictions arise. With afflictions, hatred arise. Love finally turns into hatred.

所以今天520我就发表了一篇文章：男女的爱是饿鬼的爱。如果我爱你，你也爱我了，然后就像饿鬼一样看着。男的一回来了，女的马上把他手机拿来，我看你跟谁发过短信了？银行卡拿来，工资卡拿来！女的是不是这样的？

That was why I posted an article titled The love between men and women is like the love of the hungry ghosts on 20th May （Lovers Day in China）。 If I love you and you have fallen in love with me too, then we will just be like hungry ghosts. As soon as the man returns home, the woman will immediately take away his phone. I want to see to whom have you sent you text messages? Show me your bank card and your salary slip! Are not the women like this?

平时还传经验，老公一定要管好哦，管好先要把钱管好，然后要把他胃口管好，我教你烧两道好菜实际上这个做菜的目的很邪恶，是要留住男人的心，这个动机都不纯。

Experiences are shared during ordinary times. You must look after your husband well. First, you must take charge of money matters and then look after his appetite. I can teach you a delicious dish or two In reality, the aim behind the dishes is very unwholesome. It is to capture the mans heart. Such motives are all impure.

请问这样苦不苦？像不像饿鬼？

Is this not suffering? Is this not just like the hungry ghosts?

不是冤家不聚头，古人很明白，男的说老婆叫糟糠，女的说丈夫叫冤家，这说明古人有智慧啊。哪里像现在我爱你、我爱你，这个爱的本质是什么他很清楚。

It is only because people are adversaries that they meet. People in ancient times knew this very well. Men would address their wives as chaff， and women would address their husbands as enemy。 This shows that people in ancient times were very wise. This is unlike people nowadays who say, I love you, I love you They understood very clearly what the essence of love was.

我们珍不珍惜我们的爱情？我们怎么样才能让爱不变成恨，我们怎么样才能把爱情不变成地狱的因、饿鬼的因，重要不重要？这个很重要！要不要向佛请教？要向佛请教。只有佛才会把我们的爱情发挥到极致，才让我们爱情永葆青春不变质。

Do we cherish our love? How can we not let our love turn into hatred? How can love not turn into the cause for hell and hungry ghosts? Is this not important? It is very important! Do we need to seek advice from the Buddha? We do. The Buddha is the only one able to develop our love to the fullest, and let it remain eternally youthful and unchanging.

糊涂的凡夫人、不懂佛法的人，很好的一个爱情的宝贝到他手里就变成糟糠了，很好的爱情的对象到她那儿就变成冤家了。凡夫有爱的情感，但是没有爱的智慧；有爱的动力，但没有爱的电冰箱。

The ordinary worldling who is confused and understands the Buddhadharma not turns the precious treasure of love into chaff， and a very fine romantic partner becomes an enemy。 The ordinary worldling possesses the emotions, but lack the wisdom of love; he or she has the drive to love, yet the refrigerator of love is not there.

佛承认不承认爱？佛是承认的，佛教我们怎么爱。

Does the Buddha recognize love? Yes, the Buddha recognizes love. He teaches us how to love.

世间的人在一起就是教那些不好的。怎么把男的收心，一边织毛线一边想：我织的是我男人的心、我男人的心、我男人的心。然后对于第三者，又有人教了，你做一个小人，拿针天天扎它。

People in this world teach each other unwholesome things when they are together. Women think to themselves while they are knitting, How do I rein in my mans heart? My mans heart my mans heart Then, when there is a third party, someone teaches them to make a human doll into which she can pierce needles every day.

请问这个好不好？你是不是百分之百会收获这个果报？这个世界就是这样，你起什么心、动什么念，最后百分之百地回到你身上来。你以为你扎的是第三者啊？不懂道理的人在一起就研究出一个很痛苦的结果。

Is this a good thing? Will you not receive the karmic results of this fully? This world is such that the results of what you think and how you act will eventually and fully come back to you. Do you think that you are really piercing needles into the third party? Those who do not understand the truth will together come up with something which leads to very painful consequences.

有的说什么男人来自金星，女人来自水星，反正两个心跑不到一块去。实际上不了解爱的本质，爱是一种情绪，这个情绪或许是爱，或许就是恨。

Some say that men are from Mars and women Venus - the two minds will never meet. In reality, this is because of a lack of understanding of the fundamental nature of love. Love is a type of emotion and this can either be love or it can be hatred.

佛告诉我们应该怎么样认识爱。

The Buddha teaches us the proper way to understand love.

佛陀时代第一个女众道场名字叫就叫爱道堂，要去爱真理，要去爱智慧，要把我们的爱提升成慈悲。请问这个爱好不好？

During the time of the Buddha, the first place of practice for female practitioners was called the place of practice of love to love truth and to love wisdom, and to elevate love into loving-kindness and compassion. Is not this love wonderful?

原标题：饿鬼之爱拿什么来拯救我们的爱情？

文章转自微信公众号：慧日佛教英语